Dan (notunique) wrote,

Fundamentally Loathsome...

"I want to wake up in your white, white sun
I want to wake up in your world with no pain
But I'll just suffer in a hope to die someday
While you are numb all of the way

When you hate it you know you can feel but
When you love it you know it's not real

And I am resigned to this wicked fucking world
On its way to hell
The living are dead and
I hope to join them too
I know what to do and I do it well...

Shoot myself to love you
If I loved myself I'd be shooting you"

The flashing of the time cannot escape my mind...forever reminding me of what little hours i have left...how little depends on one action...the power of human will is the most conquering force in the universe...it holds the power to feel any possible emotion that it is willing to...to enrapture itself...drive itself through pain and suffering for this feeling...this passion...what this passion is...only the mind can tell...but we are all trapped within the twisting fingers of fear...repressing this desire is denying the very right to exist...
The warm water cascades over the lifeless body...a sea of crimson flows onto the cold marble..extinguishing the flame of sanity...of reason....of life....The music in the background resonates the echo of silence found within the room...where the drop of water thunders through the ears of a hundred mourners...

"sometimes I feel so worthless
sometimes I feel discarded
I wish that I was good enough
then I'd know that I am not alone"

To be truly free is to release the power of human will in all its glory...to make a real concious decision of selfishness without consequnce or desire to care...every being is selfish...but it rears its ugly head in the most grotesquely beautiful of ways....through the warmth of tragedy...meaningless savage aggression...the final act of treason...to oneself...ulitmate freedom and liberation is only experienced by those who are silent...willingly silent...found in isolation in the vacum of space encompassing...a place in the dirt....
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