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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dan's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, October 9th, 2004
2:01 pm
The Mordant Liqour of Tears....
"Well i don't know what to say
because there's truth to what you say
i know it kills you i'm this way
there's something different every day

could it be that i never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide?
could it be that sometimes i say things just to disagree?
could it be that i'm only being me?

not easy living in my mind
a little peace is hard to find
my every thought is undermined
by all the history inside

i know i hear the words you said
over and over again
i just can't get them through my head
there's just too many voices
must be like living with the dead
waiting for me to begin
to do the things i have said
and for this i'm sorry"

Current Mood: apathetic
Friday, October 8th, 2004
10:55 pm
"But ive waited for you and ill keep on crying without you..."
I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN I LOVE JUSTIN

Im so sad....I cant stop thinking about him...i HATE his ugly g/f....hes going to be there tomorrow night and im going to have to restrain myself from wanting to jump on him...i HATE this!!!!

Current Mood: jealous
10:53 pm
"Im insane...lost my head"

 

OMG im so screwed up.....The second time i did it with my next choices was the same as bernie's an exhibitionist....i need help



Current Mood: crazy
Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
6:20 pm
"Surrender to pleasure...lost in ectasy"
So i brought the new issue of cosmo today (Gwen stefani on the cover looks soooo hot! She always does...how she does her makeup in the photo is how i want to do my makeup for summer..i love it) but anyway..in the sealed section there was thing thing about weird fetishes and i just HAD to put them in here! Enjoy...

Agalmatophilia - a fetish for status and mannequins

Apotemnophilia - turned on by the idea of losing a limb

Dendrophilia - sexual preference for trees (that gives new meaning to tree hugging!! Lol)

Emetophilia - Fetish for throwing up and being thrown up on

Formicophilia - Fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals

Taphephilia - turned on by the idea of being buried alive

Oculolinctus - Fetish for licking a partners eyeballs

Axillism - Having sex with someones armpit

Kokigami - Kind of origami for the penis...kokigamists make paper uniforms (eg samurai outfits, dolphins etc) for their partners penis

OMG it cant get any stranger than that!!! But yes...nothing much has happned in this dull world...but anyway ill write a message to everyone cause i havent spoken to ppl in ages!!! Please reply!! I cant use the phone cause ppl are always on it!

Helen: How was the gig tues? Was Damian there? Lol...i wish you could come sat night...or is that a lie! Lol..but ill catch ya at school darling

Nicole: Will you come to a gig sat night at the uni bar? Its a cd launch for one of my fav adelaide metal bands...it will be fun and mass people going! Please??!! Let me know..what else is new? You didnt tell me how friday night went at church? Any new developments? Oh i hired the movie 'the principles of lust'...it was some crap british b-grade shit and the guy chose love in the end..how pathetic

Bernie: And will you come to the gig also?! It will be awsome! Hows the empty house going? I bet its not empty tho lol....miss you and havent seen you in ages. Hows jess? Did you guys like the living end?

Nikki: havent spoken to you in ages either! Hows steven? What have you been doing these holidays? Cant wait to catch up when school starts...

OHHHH but guess who keeps calling me? Mark! He wont leave me alone! I dont pick up of course but its annoying cause i wish it was actually someone i like who was calling me! AH leave me alone!!! Well sweeties...im off cause i have no interesting news (as per usual)...see you all nxt wk...
XOX

Current Mood: devious
12:04 am
Art is war...
"My pain...my pride...these scars are mine"

Sweet lucid thots pour onto paper like tears staining the pillow...hope flew like a leaf in the wind...lost forever in the endless space where there is no hand to catch before its too late...Sanity will be granted once reason is abandoned..."Ressurection is for those who didnt get it right the first time"

This is the begining of the end...the apocalypse will be four horsemen into the fires of imagination. A hydra crawling beneath the skin...a constant reminder of memories...creating eternal scars eteched in the skin..."Everything is dead...Every day is black...Word becomes flesh...Bloodied, burned, and scratched..."

An empty room filled with thots and flooded with candlelight...words scrawled on the walls in a final act of desperation...the door is open but the handle is decayed...emotions are released into the day casting a dark cloud over the sun...there is release...music plays in the background...the final symphony to a life of tradgey...the faint auora of finality encircles the room...this is where it began...then this is where it will end...the elucidation of pain is the only thing that matters...pictures are worth a thousand words of sorrow...images that created despair cast a shadow over the pale face...the eyes darken into pools of lost hope...black orbs which blink back a tear...everything is silent...deafening the room...blood flows the colour of the crimson red lips onto the tarnished skin...this is the way...this is salvation...hidden in a snapshot of time...the candles slowly burn out like the soul of an empty shell...fading into the eternal void which encompasses the room...silence...an eerie stillness which seems to bring peace to the auora of the room...the door is closed and locked...like the memory of what once was..and could have been...

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, October 4th, 2004
6:58 pm
Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
8:15 pm
"Stay alert cause im obsessed...surely i cant be depressed"
Following Helen's lead cause im also bored...trying to avoid hw as per usual and taking my attention away from trying not to throw a lamp into the tv cause i HATE most of the aussie idols now and i want them to die...so here is my answers..dont read on cause im very boring...

Spell your first name backwards]: elleinad
[How old?]: 17
[Where do you live?]: Adelaide

DESCRIBE YOUR:
[Wallet]:Black cab 55 wallet that ive had for yrs when the whole cab 55 shit was huge
[Jewelry worn daily]: None..only wear jewelry when going out..
(OMG Casey is on aussie idol!!! Ok im back....she literally made me cry...i love her!!)
[Shoes]: As you all know i have an obsession with high heels...my favourites are either my big platform boots or maryjanes with super high heels...
[Handbag]: My bag with my patches and badges on it is my fav and i take it everywhere but when i want to look normal then its another cab 55 bag from yrs ago lol
[Perfume/Cologne]: Love D&G and YSL
[Piercings]: i hate piercings on me
[What you are wearing now]: Supre trackpants lol....my osbournes top and my winnie the pooh dressing gown (LOL)
[In my head]: Something that i shouldnt have that im currently trying to get out
[Wishing]: I didnt feel like shit and that i was someone else
[Talking to]: The voices in my head
[Eating]: Drinking an energy drink
[Some of your favorite movies]: Lost highway, queen of the damned, the crow, blue velvet, alice in wonderland, anything by david lynch
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: Planning trips with my friends
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: Not succeding in life
[Do you believe in love]: Yes
[Do you believe in soul mates]: Yes
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: I agree with Helen..lust not love
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: Depends
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: An aborted foetus
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: Why life likes to fuck us around so much
(I HATE ANTHONY!!! HE MUST DIE!! IF HE WINS IDOL IM GOING TO PERSONALLY KILL HIM)
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: No
In the last 24 hours, have you:
[Cried?]: Yes..bout 10 mins ago
[Bought something?]: Yep..sunk loto cd -between birth and death
[Gotten sick]: Still am
[Sang?]: Hours ago listening to silverchair
[Eaten?]: A salad couple of hours ago...
[Been kissed?]: No :( lol..
[Felt stupid?]: Every single minute of my life
[Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?]: Yep
[Met someone new?]: No
[Moved on?]: Nope
[Talked to an ex?]: Dont have an ex
[Missed an ex?]: As above
[Talked to someone you have a crush on?]: No..too scared to do that
[Had a serious talk?]: No
[Hugged someone?]: No
[Fought with your parents?]: No
[Dreamed about someone you can't be with?]: Thats my life story....

Social Life:
[Boyfriend/Girlfriend?]: No...i wish
[What type automobile do you drive?]: Cant spell...suziki ignis
[What type automobile do you wish you drove?]: Lambogini diablo...morgan...1959 lincoln..any 1920's/30's car...
[Would you rather be with friends or on a date?]: Depends..at the moment friends cause i feel like shit but maybe a hot guy would make me feel better ;)
[Where is the best hangout?]: Um...depends..a friends house..cafe..movies...anywhere
[Do you have a job?]: no...need one
[Do you like being around people?]: sometimes

Who:
[Have you known the longest]: Obviously me and my family lol...but in terms of friends right now then sasha
[Do you argue the most with?]: Dont know...myself?
[Do you always get along with?]: Friends
[Do you wish you could be more like?]: Someone else but me
[Is the most trustworthy?]: I dont trust a lot of people...i have trust issues..
[Makes you laugh the most?]: Probably either nicole/bernie/helen
[Has been there through all the hard times?]: Stace..and i can never thank her enough for that
[Has the coolest parents?]: Stace
[Has the coolest siblings?]: Again! Stace!
[Is the most outgoing?]: Shit um...bernie...helen..tegan!
[Is the best looking?]: Everyone looks good in their own quirky way!
[Is the most talented?]: Everyone in their own way..

Personal:
[Who is your role model?]: Anyone that is successful in music/art/literature who i admire
[Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?]: Yep..story of my life again!
[Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?]: Yep
[Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?]: Lol...do we really need to get into that?!
[Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?]:yep...im a bitch..and i usually get that revenge
[Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?]: Hmmm...depends..but at the moment hookup..dont want anymore problems on top of my own and everyone elses
[Want someone you don't have right now?]: All the time
[Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?]: No
[Do you want to get married?]: Yep
[Do you want kids?]: Hell no!
[Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?]: I wish i knew....
[What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?]:i hate everything so then id say nothing...
[What is your favorite part of your emotional being?]: My patience for my friends problems (i have an extremely short temper)
[Are you happy with you?]: Nope
[Are you happy with your life?]: Nope
[If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be?]: Somewhere far away from here being a different person and happy...

"But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day"

Current Mood: numb
12:11 am
"Distorted eyes when everything is clearly dying..."
Something is seriously wrong with me...not mentally..i know im screwed there already...but for the past couple of days ive felt like utter shit....i am tired yet i still cant sleep...my whole body aches but i havent gone to the gym in 5 days (every time i sit up straight my back gets extreme sharp pains all down it)..i feel like im going to throw up but i havent eaten in a couple of hours...I cant stop coughing and it hurts my throat and stomach so i cant sleep but i dont have a cold...every time i sit up i get mass dizzy spells and have to sit down...and i keep blacking out and cant remember how long i blacked out for. Like today i came home from town and i was sitting on my chair and then the next thing i know im laying on my bed and i had changed my clothes and i dont remember how i got there or how long i was lying there..i dont get it! I cant afford to get sick....i havent done any hw really yet and i have soooooo much to do...everything depends on the last six weeks...and i have more pressure than ever to get a really high TER seeing as i failed the medical exam cause im so dumb....i cant even cry cause i feel so exhausted and drained...and me feeling like shit isnt exactly helping my mood any...i dont want this anymore..i give in...i dont care...just make it...

...stop...

Current Mood: Sad and sick...
Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
6:55 pm
The empty sounds of hate...
Life is false...reality is an image of the imagination. Insanity is living...illusion is real. Minds distort images to fit the desire of the person..we can step into the mirror and see ourselves. Through the looking glass the world is grey. Ouji boards do not talk to the dead, they talk to the living...the living are dead, but walk in their own savage garden. Suffering is the concious act of sympathy..happiness is a figment of a crystal ball...inside pandora's box lies apathy. We allow oursleves to become the victims through the desire for love...we imprison ourselves in cages made of broken glass. To break free we must bleed.

Nothing is ever achieved by stagnation. Revolution of the mind is not without sacrifice...to plunge in the icy waters of despiar is to awaken to the air of life. Depression is a solution. Suicide is freedom. War is peace. The internal battle for unconscious acknoledgement of misery results in a heightened awarness of illusion...hidden beneath the masquerade of therapy. A contradiction is true. A paradox contains the answer. The rubix cube is a puzzle that will never be solved...life is a maze where the end is never found. Humans create an illusion to deal with artifical reality. Eyes may be the window to the soul but where is the door? The only way out is through...the genius of art finds its sanctuary in the minds of children and lunatics...The radio is deaf..the tv is blind...literature is illiterate...the cycle of ignorance continues...spinning near the edge of abolition...

"My pilot light has flickered out
You've knocked me off the hook
The person you are trying to reach is no longer here

I'm a canvas that bleeds
And I'm painted with fingers
Childish pictures
Of me that still linger

Kill me, kill everyone,
You can let them all die
The only thing in this world that does not die is money

To be equal you have to add or subtract
and I have never liked math

The only thing original in this world is the way we destroy things
Everything has already been created so we can only dream of new ways of destroying them

People who want to be equal
Have lives that are filled with subtraction
And additions

My pupils are not students,
They dilate but they never learn

I want downloadable suicide

I want everything when I want it and I want it now
I want everything before I want it then I already wanted it
so I don't want it anymore

As you are listening, I want you to know, that you're nothing but a screen that I project my images of suffering,sorrow,pain,sex in the brief glimmer of happiness I find in the misery of those who are sitting in the theater of which this screen exists.

Love your enemy, because love is the enemy

The aspiration
To save the world
Is a morbid phenomenon
Of today's youth

We have reached the end of history
The only thing left is cosmetic changes"

Current Mood: morose
Thursday, September 30th, 2004
6:38 pm
Scorched Earth Erotica..
Im filling this in cause i dont want to actually start hw....

PLEASE ANSWER ONE OR ALL OF THESE DUMB QUESTIONS

- has someone ever told you that they love you?
Friends...

- have you ever told someone that you love them?
Friends

- would you eat three spoonfuls of dogfood for $500?
Yes...cant be all that bad!! Just hold your nose and then when your done drink some alcohol

- do you like pepper? have you ever snorted it?
I LOVE pepper..havent snorted it..but i bet it would be funny...ive snorted wizz fizz..dont try it at home kiddies!

- would you pay me to jump into my pool in the middle of the night in the middle of winter? (payment must be more than 5 cents)
I agree with nicole..id do it for free

- would you ever shave off your eyebrows? for heaps of cash?
Yep...people keep telling me to do it anyway...and also i could do cool makeup as well!! (you can tell ill do anything for money!)

- who is the biggest lust of your life?
Manson

- what is the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning?
I want to go back to sleep

- what is your greatest acheivement to date?
Managing to retain my insanity

- what do you think you will be diong in 10 years time?
either being a psychologist (i hope) in reality...more probably i will be dead from excessive partying at the end of the year..and in fantasies married to the person who was mentioned 3 questions ago

- would you vote for me for president?
I would be a good president..my perfect utopia is that artists rule the world because they really speak for the people and that they have more influence over society than present day politicians...it wouldnt be a democracy tho..id be the dictator...hehe

- how much bribe will i need to pay you to vote for me?
$0

- is this the worst quiz you have ever done?
no

- should i just shut up now?
ill leave that question up to you

- do you like sports? playing sport or watching sport?
fuck no to all of the above

- which on of kylie minogue's songs do you hate the most?
fever

- name as many of the reindeers as you can.
rudolf, donner, dancer, prancer, blitzen, comet, cupid, vixen...shit...dont know...

- is that the end of this quiz?
apparently seeing as there is no more questions...dumb ass

Current Mood: rejected
Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
7:17 pm
Requim for a dream...
"i woke up today
to find myself in the other place
with a trail of my footprints
from where i ran away
it seems everything i've heard
just might be true
sometimes, i have everything
yet i wish i felt something

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have i become?
when i think i can overcome
it runs even deeper

and in a dream i'm a different me
with a perfect you
we fit perfectly
and for once in my life i feel complete

i hear them call
i cannot stay
the voice inviting me away

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have i become?
when i think i can overcome
it runs even deeper
everything that matters is gone
all the hands of hope have withdrawn
could you try to help me hang on?

and i can't turn back
i stayed
on this track
gone too far
and i can't come back
i stayed
on this track
lost my way
can't come back"
Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
11:03 pm
"I wannna fuck you like an animal....."
This will be my shortest post ever and all i have to say is........








DAMIAN!!





That is all....

Current Mood: naughty
Monday, September 27th, 2004
6:54 pm
The autopsy song...
A lot of things became apparent to me this weekend. It was one of heartbreak, tribulations, joy, sadness and every other emotion a person could possibilly feel...sometimes it was all too much to take...There is a hole in my heart and it grows larger by the day..eating away and anything which gives life to these veins...

"I'd like to take you down, and show you
deep inside, my life my inner workin
so smell and lack of inner pride,
to touch upon the surface, is not for
what it seems, I take away
my problems, but only in my dreams.
I think I'd rather crucify then learn"

I dont know what i feel...i cant pinpoint a word to describe how i feel...it would not encapsulate any true meaning...i dont even know if i have any emotions left to describe..there is only one thing left and that is to decay from the inside out until there is nothing left but a shadow of a person that once was..the solution to a paradox lies within a dischord..

"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt"

Current Mood: drained
Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
10:13 pm
The day the world went away...
I am too exhaused by life to utter the words of misey wrapped in the blanket of poetic tales of thoughts and feelings..so these lyrics will express what i cannot...ive tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away...

"staring at the sea
will he come?
is there hope for me
after all is said and done

anything at any price
all of this for you
all the spoils of a wasted life
all of this for you

all the world has closed her eyes
tired faith all worn and thin
for all we could have done
and all that could have been

ocean pulls me close
and whispers in my ear
the destiny i've chose
all becoming clear

the currents have their say
the time is drawing near
washes me away
makes me disappear

and i descend from grace
in arms of undertow
i will take my place
in the great below"

Current Mood: Withering in my own despair
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
7:36 pm
The Downward Spiral...
"The urge towards love, pushed to its limit...is an urge towards death"
----Marquis de Sade

Misery emcompasses the room...Suffocating and intoxicating. Beads of blood drip like sweat down arms but no one notices...for the only thing that they can see if a reflection of the body in a jaded mirror. To see through the looking glass is to see the desolation of a hope lost in the eternal emptiness...but the glass is shattered into a million pieces...through the blunt knife of despair...piercing and cutting away at emotions..

All that is left is this broken image..forever contained within a portrait that was never meant to be painted..never meant to be remembered. Not by choice..but by apathy...a shadow on the black canvas reveals nothing but a distorted image of an illusion...a mask worn to conceal what was never obvious...

For the time when pen is placed to paper and the ink leaves a stain...that is the only mark that will be everlasting...the only words ever uttered are to someone who can never hear it...so the only meaning to this final act of treason lay within the thoughts of a dying mind...only one holds the key...but they will never come...nothing will change..no one will remember...no one will care...
Monday, September 20th, 2004
6:11 pm
Black tangled heart...
"Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't see me at all

Lost again
Broken and weary
Unable to find my way
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to
Just let this go

Calm these hands before they
Snare another pill and
Drive another nail down another
Needy hole...

....please release me"

Suffering
Suffocating
Iam surrounded by sadness
My tourtered soul craves release from tarnished chains
Demons
Denial
There is no way out from this torment
The endless space encloses me
Restriction
Running
I come upon the crossroads of life
Two paths, two fates
Turning
Turmoil
I stumble and fall on my own demise
The way to life is stained by the hands of oppression
Longing
Lifeless
.....the scream of consonance is a reflection of a minds dissonance..

"buildings burn...people die..but real love is forever"
Thursday, September 16th, 2004
3:46 pm
Filthee...
OMMMMMMMMGGGGG!!!! Holy shit if i didnt read your post bernie i wouldnt have realised that the english major is due TOMORROW!!!! Ive done it and all but jesus...i could have gotten a fucken 0....i owe my life to you yet again!!

EXAMS ARE OVER!! Well the trial ones for me anyway....i feel so relieved...now its time to party! Cant wait till saturday night *giggle*

Mwhhaaaa!!!!
Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
10:35 pm
Thoughts of a dying atheist....
1. What time do you get up?
-- 7am weekdays and 9am weekends

2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
-- Anton LaVey or Fredrich Neitzche

3. Gold or silver?
--Silver

4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
-- The village....it was so bad (see my last post!)

5. What is your favorite TV show?
-- Old sex and the city...OMG! The o.c...the osbournes...queer eye...

6. What do you have for breakfast?
-- A cup of tea

7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
-- Niki Webster

8. What/who inspires you?
-- Music and literature...

9. What is your middle name?
-- Renee (with an accent)

10.Beach or Pool?
-- Pool all the way...i HATE the beach!

11. Favorite ice cream?
-- OMG...this flavour called chocolate delight...its a special brand of ice cream that i cant remember the name of..but its double chocolate with a cherry brandy sauce!! *drool*

12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn?
-- Buttered

13. Favorite color?
--Black...red/purple

14. What kind of car do you drive?
-- Suziki (cant spell) ignis...

15. Favorite sandwich?
-- SUBWAy...chicken fillet with ceaser dressing

16. What characteristic do you despise?
-- Stuck up little preps who think their shit dont stink

18. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
--Europe...Especially england and germany

19. What color is your bathroom?
-- God...so embarrasing...pink!

20. Favorite brand of clothing?
-- Jean Paul Gaultier (a famous fashion designer..i would DIE if i ever met him...i worship the ground he walks on!) or for actual clothes i can afford...lip service...tripp...morbid etc

21. Where would you like to retire?
-- In a chateau in the outskirts of paris with my own vineyard

22. Favorite day of the week?
-- Friday night 3:30pm and 1 second..time to get ready to go out after school...

23. What did you do for your last birthday?
-- My friends threw me surprise party at school...then went home and um....i dont actually remember!

24. Where were you born?
-- Adelaide

25. Favorite sport to watch on TV?
-- I HATE SPORT

26. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
-- lol...everyone

27. Person you expect to send it back first?
-- my imaginary friend ludwig

28. What fabric detergent do you use?
-- That black wash stuff..i wash my own clothes

29. Coke or Pepsi?
-- Coke....can i say water?

30. Are you a morning person or a night person?
-- I am a nocturnal (lust) vampire hehehe

31. What is your shoe size?
-- 10

32. Are you married?
-- no

33. Do you have kids?
-- yes

34. If you answered #33 with a yes, how many & their names?
-- they dont have names...they are a boquet of dead babies in my foyer

35. Do you want more kids?
-- Only to use them in ritual sacrifices

36. If single are you dating someone you'd like to marry?
-- not dating anyone....

37. Do you have pets?
-- yes

38. If you said yes to the last question, what type of pets, how many and their names?
-- cat - coco and i hate her...



WRITE DOWN TEN STATEMENTS YOU'D LIKE TO SAY TO TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE
dont list their names, or tell who it is to anyone

1. Words cannot describe what you mean to me...only that i love you
2. Im sorry you have to put up with so much...i hope you can forgive me cause i love you
3. You make me laugh to tears..i will always remember that...
4. Ok you need to step the fuck back and let me do what i want and stop being so god damn nice!
5. Dont hate me...
6. I wish things could have been different...
7. You are a beem of positive energy that i will never have...
8. I hate you to my inner core..
9. You do not realise how lucky you acutally are...
10. I would give up everything to do what you do..
Monday, September 13th, 2004
11:19 pm
Fundamentally Loathsome...
"I want to wake up in your white, white sun
I want to wake up in your world with no pain
But I'll just suffer in a hope to die someday
While you are numb all of the way

When you hate it you know you can feel but
When you love it you know it's not real

And I am resigned to this wicked fucking world
On its way to hell
The living are dead and
I hope to join them too
I know what to do and I do it well...

Shoot myself to love you
If I loved myself I'd be shooting you"

The flashing of the time cannot escape my mind...forever reminding me of what little hours i have left...how little depends on one action...the power of human will is the most conquering force in the universe...it holds the power to feel any possible emotion that it is willing to...to enrapture itself...drive itself through pain and suffering for this feeling...this passion...what this passion is...only the mind can tell...but we are all trapped within the twisting fingers of fear...repressing this desire is denying the very right to exist...
The warm water cascades over the lifeless body...a sea of crimson flows onto the cold marble..extinguishing the flame of sanity...of reason....of life....The music in the background resonates the echo of silence found within the room...where the drop of water thunders through the ears of a hundred mourners...

"sometimes I feel so worthless
sometimes I feel discarded
I wish that I was good enough
then I'd know that I am not alone"

To be truly free is to release the power of human will in all its glory...to make a real concious decision of selfishness without consequnce or desire to care...every being is selfish...but it rears its ugly head in the most grotesquely beautiful of ways....through the warmth of tragedy...meaningless savage aggression...the final act of treason...to oneself...ulitmate freedom and liberation is only experienced by those who are silent...willingly silent...found in isolation in the vacum of space encompassing...a place in the dirt....
4:33 pm
Shitty Chicken Gang Bang...

I did a little quiz...i thought it was quite amusing...thanks helen for the link...

Which Sex and the City Player Are You?

You're lustful and power-driven, unabashed and unafraid, you'll try anything once.

There is very little you will shy away from, you'll grab every opportunity, be it in the bedroom or the boardroom. You want to be Someone. Capital S. You love luxury and decadence and don't believe there should be any guilt in pleasure. You see what you want, you take it. Do now, ask questions later. Or maybe just skip the question-asking altogether ...

You do have quite the tendancy to be aloof and detached, verging on cold. You like to play with men, not date them. You have no intention of getting married. You think that guys should just go away quietly when you're done with them and quit trying to start relationships with you. You're just not the relationship kind. At least not now.

Inspite of your (sometimes questionable) treatment of men (although, some could call it fair play) you are as fiercly loyal and supportive of your friends as they are of you and that's what's really important. Samantha quotes:
"You've got to get online, honey. If only for the porn."

"There's not enough wall space in New York City to hang all my exes, but let me tell you, a lot of them were hung."

"What am I supposed to say? "Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And p.s.: I'm done with dick"?"

LOL.....AND....Which O.C. Character Are You?

HAhahahahahaha.....i thought that was quite funny...i feel like doing one of those surveys that send through email and it takes like 1 hour to do...does anyone have one of those!!! Im procrastinating as per usual...dont want to write maths notes and study....catch ya

"three dollars and fity cents" HAHAHAHAHAHA.....

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